I'm Throwing My Arms Around Carnegie

Kids in the Hall - Phone

2009-06-11T16:19:00.001-04:00

Oh I found my favorite one.
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Sizzler Sisters

2009-06-11T16:06:00.001-04:00

In the late 80's/early 90's there was NOTHING that made me laugh like "Kids in the Hall."
This was one of my all time favorite sketchs. Frankly, if it doesn't make you laugh, you ought to check your pulse!

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My nutty dad

2009-06-09T20:38:00.002-04:00

I really can't decide if this story is funnier if you know my dad, or don't know him.

My mother calls me the other day to tell me that her and my father were watching tv when my father says "That woman is the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life!"

This commercial was on:

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My mother looked at him and said "THAT WOMAN is Ozzy Osbourne!"

Every single day he turns into Archie Bunker just a little bit more.

I can't watch that comercial now without totally cracking up.

Beatles - Rock Band

2009-06-04T16:56:00.001-04:00

Also known as the #1 reason we will have to buy a Wii!

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The instruments look like the Beatles instruments AND it does harmonies!
It looks awesome!

Reservoir Dogs Take Manhattan

2009-06-04T14:36:00.002-04:00

Thanks to EW for spicing up my day with this.
(btw...it IS from Reservoir Dogs...so you decide if it's safe for work)

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Movie Remakes

2009-06-03T16:48:00.002-04:00

And with this one little article, my heart died a little.

Perfect Song Version 4

2009-06-03T14:25:00.002-04:00

So several years ago Morrissey did a pretty spot on cover of this song.
I instantly grew to love it, mostly because the song speaks volumes about how I feel about Morrissey.
The Original is pretty spectacular though:

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Crime Solvers

2009-06-03T14:20:00.002-04:00

So...
Law & Order
+
Criminal Minds
+
CSI
+
Law & Order SVU
+
Bones
+
CSI Miami
+
Cold Case
+
Law & Order CI
+
CSI New York
=
Absolutley, postively no crime that can't be solved.
Ever.

Fifty Never looked so good!

2009-05-22T10:25:00.002-04:00

Today is Morrissey's fiftieth birthday.
And frankly, he looks damn good.
In honor of Moz, here's the video I shoot at his show in Pittsburgh on March 17, 2009:

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Happy Birthday Beautiful Man. Thank you for being the soundtrack of my life!

I want this Robot!

2009-05-20T11:46:00.000-04:00

People - THIS is why we need stem cell research:

2009-05-18T11:14:00.003-04:00

Over the weekend I had occassion to watch a tad of Lifetime (television for women) and also Daisy of Love. (I know, I am nothing if not discerning.) During this viewing, I was hit over the head by Latisse.

It turns out that the beauty industry has found another way to make women feel inadequate...the eyelashes. You heard that right, eyelashes. Forget flabby thighs and un-toned tummies, if your eyelashes aren't thick, long and luscious you might as well throw in the towel.

Until now, thanks to the advent of "Latisse - the only FDA approved prescription treatment for inadequate or insufficient eyelashes."

Thank god scientists and pharmacists alike spent time working on this very serious issue that was not already addressed by fake eyelashes and plumping mascara. It's not like there are SERIOUS illnesses to be cured.

I think anyone using this product deserves the incredibly strange side effects: "May cause eyelid skin darkening which may be reversible, and there is potential for increased brown iris pigmentation which is likely to be permanent."

Seriously Brooke Shields, are things out there this tough? I've seen a little Lifetime, I think you may have a future there...let's just hope it's in the Nora Roberts movie adaptations and not the ads in between!

Gifts!

2009-05-13T11:27:00.003-04:00

Although my birthday is several months away, I feel pretty certain that my husband already bought my present.
Thanks, honey!

Zombies are REAL!

2009-05-12T21:47:00.002-04:00

Seeing as Pittsburgh is the official Zombie capital of the world, I must admit that THIS kinda scares the daylights out of me!

Summer Blockbuster

2009-05-12T21:41:00.003-04:00

Forget Wolverine, forget Star Trek, forget Terminator Salvation...
THIS is the movie I will line-up to see this summer:

Of course it will be at a midnight showing, when all the kiddies are safely tucked into their rurgrat beds!

Dear NBC:

2009-05-09T16:34:00.004-04:00

I just saw your commercial that went a little something along these lines:
"Hey America...you asked for more comedy and we heard you!"
"We are giving you COMEDY every night at 10PM with Jay Leno"

Well NBC, if that is what you think we want, I think we need to go to counseling.

When I say I want more comedy, less Law and Order what I had in mind was this:

NOT THIS:

It boggles my mind that Leno is sold as America's comic, all squeaky clean and hilarious; when in actuality he is homophobic, racist and perhaps most relevant of all NOT FUNNY! NBC, when you get your head out of your ass and stop being lazy with your programming, give me a call.

2009-05-08T20:59:00.004-04:00

For your Consideration

2009-05-07T16:02:00.003-04:00

You know, the weekend will be upon us soon and in anticipation of that, why not consider this 1984 comic gem? I believe it will meet ALL of your entertainment needs!

I'm just going to go out an a limb and guess that Heather hasn't seen THIS 80's classic either....

ALERT! KFC May run out of chicken!!!

2009-05-07T14:22:00.004-04:00

This article is just too much.

"5. By Sunday, because its Mothers Day, one of their busiest days of the year. Its possible they could be out of chicken on Mothers Day."

Look, just like millions of other americans, I too love a good piece of deep fried, delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken. But the fact that one of KFC's busiest days of the year is Mother's Day....I just don't know what to say to that. I mean wow.
I guess nothing says "thanks for carrying me INSIDE your body for 9 months" like deep fried chicken from a fast food restaurant.
Oh my.

(thanks to Mitch for the heads up on this piece of news!)

The Price is Right

2009-05-06T15:09:00.004-04:00

So a friend posted this on facebook and frankly, it is too good NOT to share:

Don't feel too bad for Dr. Bummer, he won the showcase.
Who knew daytime tv was so entertaining??
Keep it classy, Pittsburgh!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2009-05-05T23:30:00.003-04:00

The Good: I am experiencing the peace and quiet that only a living room without a running fish tank can bring.

The Bad: Methusula, the 9,000 year old fish (finally) died.

The Ugly: I got fish tank water on my foot. I feel so dirty.

The REALLY Ugly: I can never kiss my husband again. He got fish tank water IN HIS MOUTH when he was trying to start the suction to drain the tank. Sorry honey, there is no amount of mouthwash to fix THAT.

Eating and Sleeping

2009-05-05T12:20:00.003-04:00

If only THIS was a competitive sport, I could probably kick some serious french ass.

Does the Queen make you horny, baby?

2009-05-01T18:39:00.001-04:00

Couple arrested for sex on the lawn at Windsor Castle.

In this case, money could buy me happiness

2009-04-30T16:45:00.003-04:00

I fully understand that it is irrational to spend 4x my monthly mortgage payment on a purse.
But THIS is not just a purse, it is a work of art.
It is pure genius.
I must own one. I believe by owning this purse it will make me smarter, prettier and more popular.
Anyone want to buy a kidney?

Perfect Song III

2009-04-30T15:54:00.003-04:00

Can't really say why, but this one just does it for me:

I think it reminds me of time spent in England.

Welcome to the Hive.

2009-04-27T15:04:00.007-04:00

There appears to be a bit of a bee problem in my office today.
So far there have been three bees INSIDE my office (including the one currently trapped between the screen and the window), not to mention the swarm that appears to be gathering outside the window (probably preparing their meancing attack, for when I leave the office).
For those who know me, you know that this is NOT okay with me.

Don't be surprised if you see me looking like this tomorrow:

I intend to be wearing the gloves, instead of holding them.

However, if you encounter me looking like this:

Trust that I've passed over to a better place.

Just one more thing...

2009-04-24T22:08:00.007-04:00

Since I'm on a roll tonight...
If this mexican swine flu affects my ability to make amazing pork bbq this summer, I'm going to be one sad woman.
Pulled orange roughy bbq DOES NOT have the same ring to it!

Update:

Shit the NUNS are freaked about the Swine Flu...

Update #2:
I'm officially freaked out. It's killing people aged 20-40.

Dear Sheetz, SUCK IT!

2009-04-24T21:53:00.002-04:00

Two words!
EGG SALAD.

What the F*%K! It was gone for 6 years, you finally brought it back last fall and it's gone again.

I hate your guts.

Sincerely,
this bitter, egg salad-loving bitch

I'm gonna cut that bitch!

2009-04-24T21:40:00.003-04:00

So today was a bit of a stressful day. I'm a member of a professional organization that is having a regional meeting in our community tomorrow morning.
I agreed to do the name tags and the place cards. I assumed (always the problem) that these tasks would be easy.
So I get the place cards, just typical Avery place cards. I look for the spreadsheet I've been sent with attendee's names and lunch food choice. Wouldn't you know it's a .pdf?
Who sends that kind of info in a .pdf?? Have they heard of mail merge before???
So I retype the whole damn list.
Then I start the mail merge. This paticular product is not avaialable in mail merge.
When you use the Avery Designer online, you can't mail merge. So after a phone call to Avery, I learn that I have to download THEIR software product in order to do a mail merge with this product.
So I download the software.
Now, I have to convert my database to DBaseIII. (Seriously.)
Finally, the flipping table cards are finished. So what should have been a 10 minute job took about 2 hours.
I get to the site tonight to help set-up. A woman asks me if she can help, so I give her these little place cards to punch-out. Anyone who has worked with Avery knows it's easy, right?? THEY ARE PERFORATED! So I'm working on something else, and I hear her say, "Wow, you made these upside down!" To which I say, "I don't think so" and I walk over to take a look.
She is RIPPING the place cards in half. NOT on the perforation. Literally ripping them in half.
I have bite marks on my tounge.

MTV Movie Awards

2009-04-23T22:39:00.002-04:00

I realize that at 36, I may be just slightly older than MTV's target demographic (which does very little to explain why I tune in weekly for The Hills, The City and now Taking the Stage).
However, I would wager that I speak for many when I say I am not interested in ANYTHING that came from Jack Black's penis.

Wow - just wow.

2009-04-21T18:06:00.005-04:00

So I was just having dinner and flipping through the channels when I came upon this episode of Bev Hills 90210 (the original - of course).
I was going to continue through the channels but Donna (Tori Spelling)'s outfit utterly stopped me in my tracks. I am absolutely devastated that I can not find a picture of this volcanic ensemble.
When you watch the video, imagine the bottom half of Tori in black and red argyle hot pants (that matches the sweater perfectly, I believe, in the world of fashion, they call these coordinates!).
However, what happened next is what makes this episode the epitome of 90210 brilliance.

"Uhhhhh West Beverly"
What ever happened to that talented group of acapella singers???

I knew Jack Sparrow, and you sir, are NO Jack Sparrow

2009-04-20T15:50:00.004-04:00

Dear Brett Michaels (of Poison):
The pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean are characters in movies.
fictional movies that takes place at the turn of the century.
Please stop trying to pretend you are Jack Sparrow. It is creeping me out.
People, pay close attention to the (horrible quality) clip from last night's Rock of Love Bus Reunion:

Dirty hair: check (granted the most expensive human hair extensions that money can buy probably can't be washed all that often)

Odd stubble: check (Jack Sparrow had an excuse...he was busy fighting off OTHER pirates AND the British Empire..what's your excuse?)

Misplaced and distracting braid: check, check and DOUBLE check!

Bandanna....do i even have to say it? I'm convinced it is surgically attached to his cranium.

And for the love of god...the kissing. Brett Michaels (of Poison), I hope now that season three is over that I never have to see you coming at the lips of some woman all open mouthed and smooshy. It makes me nauseous. Here's hoping the next time you go in for a big wet one you are met with this:

Perfect Songs - Episode 2

2009-04-19T13:46:00.002-04:00

This one is in honor of Wes who got to perform with the "great" Alan O'Day, when Wes was asked to back the GREAT Arch Hall, Jr.

They just don't make 'em like that anymore. Sorry if it's stuck in your head!

Career Change

2009-04-15T10:37:00.001-04:00

I think I've found my next career.

Thanks Ron Paul!

I'm Living Under a Little Black Rain Cloud

2009-04-14T23:06:00.004-04:00

THIS is my own personal weather forecast:

Perfect Songs Episode One

2009-04-14T17:09:00.002-04:00

Everyone has those songs that move them because they are just pure perfection.

This one really hits me. And for some reason, I prefer live versions to the original. The lyrics are utter perfection. Who hasn't felt this way at some point in their life?

The Height of Anteater Fashion

2009-04-14T16:31:00.002-04:00

Marc Jacobs, eat your heart out.

I must admit though, it's finger (at least I hope that's a finger) concerns me.

Easter Bonnet

2009-04-13T23:31:00.003-04:00

Well, what it lacks in execution, it makes up for in originaity!

Why I may never leave the US again...

2009-04-13T15:38:00.007-04:00

Okay, it's not that I will never leave the US ever again, but rest assured if I ever travel to Asia, Africa, the Middle East and some parts of Latin America, I will be investigating the bathroom facilities first.

So as not to encounter THIS SITUATION.

Please note step #1: Bring your own toilet paper.
EGADS!

Oh and be certain to watch the video.
You have to exercise to be able to use the bathroom??!!!???

UPDATE:
Lest you think I was actively SEEKING this information, this was on my homepage as one of five "How-To's" of the day.

UPDATE #2:
I will not be eating pork bbq in rural China.

Stress

2009-04-12T22:54:00.001-04:00

What happens when pugs worry???

Pug Wrinkles, of course!

Our Backyard

2009-04-12T22:50:00.001-04:00

I'm looking forward to a great summer in our backyard! However, for the last few weeks it looked vaguely like a war zone. Trench included.
We've had a great contractor (yes, it turns out they actually DO exisit) working on a new sidewalk, retaining wall and fencing in the backyard.
Now the little hellion creatures that I affectionately refer to as dogs can run wild!

I hope you enjoy my geeked out narration.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

2009-04-08T15:07:00.008-04:00

Some might recall, way back in 2006 the film "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh" was being shot here in Pittsburgh. The reason you would remember this is because during that time, darling Sienna Miller referred to our city as "Shitsburg."

Which of course, I took umbrage to and quickly fired off this little letter to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

(To this day, that first letter still cracks me up...I didn't realize that Sienna was trying to HELP Pittsburgh.)

Anyways the movie is FINALLY being released.

But NOT in Pittsburgh. You know, the city in the TITLE of the movie. WHERE the movie is based.

Which leads to the new Mystery of Pittsburgh. Will we ever see this movie?

You may wonder why I even care anymore...

For a girl who worked for the major Pittsburgh library system and lived in Squirrel Hill during her early 20's, I LOVE THIS BOOK!

BTW - Minneappolis?? And still not Pittsburgh. Geez.

The Hangover

2009-04-08T14:41:00.002-04:00

I know, I know it sounds like a cliche....but it looks SOOOOOO funny!

Channel 11 News...I'm looking at you...

2009-04-08T13:04:00.004-04:00

So last night, during the 11pm newscast you shared a story about a cat that had been stuck in a tree for 3 days...somewhere in the south.
You knew that dogs had scared it and sent it running up the tree.
Here's the kicker...and even Darieth Chilsom knew it was a BS story...you didn't have any information on what had happened to the cat. Is it still in the tree? Was it rescued and returned to it's family. Is this news?????

Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

2009-04-08T12:47:00.006-04:00

Unlike other truly cool 36-year olds, my hip, new music tastes are dictated by Saturday Night Live.
This past year I discovered Vampire Weekend, whose self titled album has become one of my favorite albums of the year.
So, when I heard the wonderful Peter Gabriel/Hot Chip version of Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa it made my heart soar! Check it out:

If anyone knows where I can download this song, please let me know!!!

Dear Winter...

2009-04-08T11:51:00.002-04:00

Don't you have another appointment you MUST be getting to?
IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE?
Your pal,
Leigh

Well, Hello!

2009-04-07T21:56:00.004-04:00

Just as it seems the world is turning to Twitter to voice their every move in 140 characters or less, I decide to kick it old skool. 2002-style by starting my very own blog.

Good Lord. Apparently I feel I have at least 141 characters worth of things to say.

So here goes.

I've decided to start an affair. A bitter love/hate style relationship with L.A. Fitness. We flirted briefly in the fall, then called things quits for a little while. Just a fleeting booty call every now and then. But baby, we are back on!

Although, after tonight, I am convinced Morrissey is trying to posion this relationship.
I get to the gym tonight and turn my ipod on to shuffle and THIS comes on:

Look Morrissey, THAT isn't going to help.

And just one other thing...I've been awaiting the arrival of my juice bar at LA Fitness since August. It appears we are making progress. The sign is up: NRgize Lifestyle Bar....which begs the question "Whose lifestyle?" Because if it's mine, then all it will be serving is peanut butter milkshakes and beer, and I don't see a liquor license application.